


By My Side

by ShallowSeas



Series: Say the Word, I'll Follow [3]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Fluff, Love, M/M, One Shot, POV Jack Harkness, Post-Episode: s02e01 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Romance, Sleepy Cuddles, Sleepy Ianto Jones, Torchwood - Freeform, ianto is the voice of reason, jack needs a break, jack's thinking while ianto sleeps, janto, there's a little bit of pain, they're sleeping in ianto's loft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 20:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11882508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShallowSeas/pseuds/ShallowSeas
Summary: Jack looked over at Ianto's sleeping form, the moonlight creeping in through the curtains, dancing on Ianto's naked skin. He couldn't help but smile, Ianto was absolutely breath-taking. He was thousands of years old, and somehow this Welshman from the 21st century had broken down his walls and love him in ways Jack never thought anyone would love him.





	By My Side

There was a time in Jack's life when he wouldn't have let it get so far. He did so much better with flings, one night stands, because he didn't fall in love. He could get what he wanted and he could leave, it's as simple as that. But, recently, it was getting harder and harder for him to keep himself from falling in love. The older he got, the more he just wanted to live a happy and peaceful life. He had lost so many people. He had grown so tired of meaningless sex, even if it was fun. All he really wanted was to love someone, one person, forever. Even though he knew that wasn't possible for him, there was something about Ianto that made him rethink everything he thought he knew.

  
Jack knew he shouldn't let things between them continue, deep down, he knew. But he couldn't help himself, he always wanted more. No matter what happened between the two of them, they always ended up coming back to each other. He loved Ianto, more than he ever thought he could let himself love someone, more than he thought it was possible for any person to love anyone. He had loved before, but it was nothing like he felt for Ianto. It was a love he couldn't put into words, it was a love that would ruin him one day. He could never tell him, though. Jack knew things between them would never end well. There was only one possible ending to their story - Ianto was going to die one day, and Jack would have to carry on. It was a thought never really far from Jack's mind.

  
Jack looked over at Ianto's sleeping form, the moonlight creeping in through the curtains, dancing on Ianto's naked skin. He couldn't help but smile, Ianto was absolutely breath-taking. He was thousands of years old, and somehow this Welshman from the 21st century had broken down his walls and love him in ways Jack never thought anyone would love him. Ianto could see things from his point of view, overlook terrible things that Jack had done, for the greater good. Even if he didn't always agree with Jack, he always stood by his side and did what needed to be done.

  
Ianto was completely mortal, yet he was easily one of the bravest men that Jack had ever met. Jack had seen him do things that people with a hell of a lot more field and weapons training wouldn't do. Hell, he had even trapped and cared for a pterodactyl, taken on weevils alone and told off men much larger than him, all while unnarmed. Jack would never admit it, but he admired him. Ianto inspired him to be a better person, he inspired him to keep his humanity, even if he was immortal. Jack would never wish immortality on anyone, but these days, he couldn't stop himself from thinking how it would be to have Ianto with him forever. More than anything, he just wished he was mortal. Jack would've given anything to grow old with him.

  
"I can't sleep when you're thinking so loud." Ianto mumbled from his place in the bed, to the left of Jack. He rolled over to face Jack before continuing, barely opening his eyes before continuing. "What's wrong?"

Jack smiled, bringing his hand up to stroke Ianto's cheek. "Nothing, I just couldn't sleep."

  
"You could sleep if you stopped thinking so much." Ianto told him, simply, his voice thick with sleep.

  
"I guess you're right." Jack chuckled, leaning in to kiss Ianto's forehead. "Get some sleep."

  
Ianto moved closer, placing his head on Jack's shoulder and nuzzling his neck. He brought his hand up to Jack's chest and started tracing small circles. "You don't need to worry about that right now." Ianto told him, more awake now.

  
Jack sighed. Of course Ianto knew, he always did. "I can't help it." He answered, honestly. They didn't usually talk about it, not really. It was almost an unspoken rule between them. They were far better at avoiding the problem than talking about it. Neither of them were good at talking about their feelings, and things were much easier if they pretending like nothing was wrong. Being in denial was much better than accepting the fact that they'd never truly have each other.

  
"I know." Ianto placed a soft kiss on the side of Jack's jaw. "But I'm here now, and that's all that matters."

  
Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto and squeezed, lightly. "Yeah." He whispered.

  
Jack knew he was right. He should learn to just enjoy the time he had with Ianto, rather than dreading the time he'll be without him. There was nothing he wanted more than to spend every minute with Ianto, to grow old and even have a family. But that was something much easier said than done. Jack had already lived so many lives, loved and lost so many people. Even if, by some miracle, he was able to keep Ianto until a ripe old age, he wasn't sure he could live with loosing him.

  
"We can't just spend every day dreading the future." Ianto interrupted Jack's thoughts. "I won't pretend to know or understand everything you've been through, or how you feel. I can't promise you that this will end well, because we both know it doesn't." Ianto paused, and Jack felt him take a deep breath. He knew Ianto didn't want to be talking about this anymore than Jack did, especially so late at night, when they both should be sleeping since they have to be at the hub in less than three hours.

  
"I just need you to know, that I'm right where I want to be. Here, with you. I wouldn't change any of this, for anything in the world. Whatever happens between us, happens. But don't you think you deserve to be happy, just for a little while? After all the good you've done, after everything you've lost and given up, I think you deserve to be happy, even if it doesn't last forever. I want to make the most of the time I have with you Jack. You and me, saving the world, doing what we do best, you know?"

  
Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath. There was a million things he wanted to say to Ianto, but there were some words Jack would never be able to say. Ianto always amazed him. He was so young, but he was one of the most intelligent people Jack had ever met. If he didn't know any better, he'd say Ianto was the one who had lived a thousand lifetimes. He had been through so much, and he was so young. All that pain had given him so much knowledge, Jack couldn't stop himself from thinking that was part of the reason they got along so well.

  
Jack didn't exactly think he deserved to be happy, even if he wanted to be. But that wasn't a conversation for right now. So instead, he leaned down and kissed Ianto softly, putting everything he wanted to tell him, all the emotion and love he had for his Welshman in it. He couldn't say the words, but he could only hope Ianto understood.

  
"There's no one else I'd rather have by my side." Jack told him, after breaking away from the kiss.

  
"Good." Ianto smirked. "Then it's settled. Now, go to sleep. You keep me awake late enough as it is."

  
Jack laughed and squeezed Ianto a little tighter. "Well, now that you mention it, if you wanted to stay awake a little while longer-"

  
"Goodnight, Jack." Ianto mumbled into the crook of Jack's neck.

  
Jack smiled and kissed the top of Ianto's head. "Goodnight, Ianto."

  
Yeah, he was doomed.

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty short, but it's just a scene I had in my head for a while and wanted to get it out there. Feel free to comment and let me know what you think, or give suggestions. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks. :)


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